


desolation in glassy eyes

by o0JayWolf0o



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Dream Bubbles, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Mention of Death, Meteorstuck, Pajamas & Sleepwear, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Sadstuck, Troll Romance (Homestuck), fun shit but not really, pesterchum, pesterlogs, sleepover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2019-01-01 03:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12147411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o0JayWolf0o/pseuds/o0JayWolf0o
Summary: Gamzee Makara. A clown, known for the murders of his friends after he'd gone batshit insane from lack of sopor. One would think he'd still be hunting down the feeling of blood running through his hands, though now, all he felt was regret and yearning for the past. When things had been simpler, he'd been considered the silly friend who made weird friends and laughed at everyone's jokes, and he so desperately wanted that back. He's lucky to have someone - or, really something - promising that kind of relief.





	desolation in glassy eyes

These days, the meteor was quiet.

Rose and Kanaya would read softly in the common room, teaching each other things and enjoying each other’s company. Dave and Karkat would either fuck around in their rooms or the common room, and Terezi and Vriska would chat on the roof or lie down in their respiteblocks.

Gamzee was a different story.

Since he’d dragged the body of Sollux off,he’d holed up in a secret room, only accessible by traveling through old, dusty vents. Instead of the highblood rage he’d felt at first, he was scared--lonely. He regretted many things, namely killing his friends in blind, hot white rage. Everyone on the meteor was scared of him. Including Karkat, who he had once considered his best friend.

Now he sat in a pile of random objects - ranging from books to horns to bags of Dave’s old chips - just breathing. Breathing in dusty, old air that reeked of the trash piled ceiling high in what he claimed his respiteblock. He raised his hands and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes until colors danced across his vision, pins and needles prodding at his eyelids.

His stomach yowled out for food and he grabbed his palmhusk with trembling hands. Recently, Vriska had synced up everyone’s sleep cycles to communicate in dream bubbles, so everyone was told to go to sleep at 24:00 each ‘day.’ His eyes adjusted as the screen blinded him briefly, reading the digital clock staring back at him. He pointedly avoided his background - a picture of his arm slung over Karkat’s with a big, dopey smile on his face. He didn’t regret stopping himself from eating sopor, but he did regret losing his ‘cool’ (or whatever he had of it, anyway) after he’d stopped being so stoned all the time. According to the time, it was 2:43. Everyone should be asleep - the coast was clear.

Rising from his throne of junk, Gamzee didn’t bother to dust himself off before he leapt up and grabbed the edge of the left vent. Scrabbling his purple converse against the dented wall, he hauled himself into the metal vent. Clutter blocked his path, so he pushed the dust into his room. For a vent shaft, they were always pretty grimy in the corners. Shivering against the cold, he crawled through the vents and took memorized turns until he pried the shaft cover from the entrance of the storage room. He righted himself, glancing around the room until he was sure nobody was hiding amongst the boxes.

Gamzee approached a box marked with a red ‘x’. He knew these ones contained food, or, more specifically, food that would expire soon. He pried the lid off with his razor-sharp nails - or, they would have been razor-sharp if he had bothered to trim them for the past two months - and swept hair from his eyes as he dumped the lid to the floor. Inside the box were cans of fruit cocktail, juice boxes, tortillas, bread, apples, etc. He quickly snatched up two bananas and an apple as well as one bag of tortillas and three cans of fruit before captchaloguing them. He grabbed the lid to the box and slid it back in place before turning back to the vent and scrabbling up the wall once more.

Before he could turn a left, his palmhusk pinged. _...What?_ When was the last time someone had messaged him? Shocked, he honked and jumped up, scraping his horns on the ceiling of the vent. He suppressed a groan as he slid back to his room, careful to be quiet, his palmhusk alerting him of notifications the whole way.

He sunk into his pile before digging in his pocket and pulling his palmhusk out. He squinted against the brightness before unlocking the screen and opening Pesterchum. To his disappointment, nobody had messaged him, but a memo had been opened instead.

It was already over, so he clicked it open and read.

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] opened memo board “Human Sleepover Planning” --  
GA: Hello Everyone  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] responded to memo --  
TT: Please do not speak until everyone has arrived.  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] responded to memo --  
\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] responded to memo --  
\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] responded to memo --  
\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] responded to memo --  
GA: Thank You For Cooperating Karkat  
CG: WHY SINGLE ME OUT?  
CG: ARE YOU SAYING DAVE WOULDN'T INTERRUPT?  
CG: OR TEREZI, FOR THAT MATTER??  
GA: No You Are Just More Likely To  
TG: haha   
GA: Though I Suppose Dave Is Too  
TG: shut up  
CG: HA HA! (:B  
TG: what the fuck   
CG: WHAT?  
TG: (:B?  
CG: THOSE ARE MY HORNS YOU INSUFFERABLE ASSTRAIN  
TG: oh my god  
TG: karkat  
TG: dude  
TT: If I may, interrupt, could we come back to the matter at hand? I’m sure you’re all tired of waiting.  
TG: yeah sure  
TG: karkat shut up  
GA: Rose Has Presented The Idea Of One Of Your Human Sleepovers To Me  
GA: Seeing As It Has Gotten Rather Boring Here On The Meteor  
GA: I Thought It Would Be A Good Idea  
TG: rose  
TT: Dave.  
TG: rose  
TT: Dave.  
TG: you told kanaya about sleepovers  
TT: If you would take the time to scroll up an inch or check the title of the memo, you would see that yes, I have, indeed, given her the idea.  
TG: i thought we were done with this when earth was destroyed   
TG: youre going to make us play truth or dare and spin the bottle arent you  
TT: Hopefully, yes.  
GC: 1 DONT S33 WH4TS SO B4D 4BOUT THIS  
GC: 4S F4R 4S 1 KNOW NOBODY D13S 1N YOUR CULTUR3  
TG: thats the thing  
TG: see we dont die so we have to live out our eternal embarrassment  
TG: getting judged and shit  
TT: Dave, you and I both know that is not what happens.  
AG: Well, shit, if that’s not what happens, I don’t know if this is as cool as I thought.  
AG: I’ll pass.  
GC: NO YOU WON’T  
AG: Who s8ys?  
GC: YOUR MO1RA1L (:<  
AG: Terezi, don’t tell me you _want_ to go to this?  
GC: OF COURS3 1 DO!  
GC: 1TS GONNA B3 FUN, R1GHT?  
GA: We Do Hope So  
GC: S33?  
AG: Fiiiiiiiine, whatever.  
AG: It’d 8e funner if I planned it, though.  
GC: 4NYW4YS, WH4T 4R3 TH3Y ABOUT  
GC: THE SL33POV3RS, 1 M34N  
TT: It, in short, is everyone hanging out.  
TT: We’d watch movies, play games, eat things. You know.  
TT: But we’d do it wearing pajamas.  
TT: I know these are foreign to trolls, so allow me to elaborate:  
TT: They are extremely comfortable clothes with, for lack of a better word, shitty designs.  
TT: Because we know you’d show up anyway, Kanaya has already made some for everyone.  
GC: NOW YOU H4V3 TO GO  
AG: Wh8tever.  
TG: you already made the outfits  
GA: Yes  
TG: god damn  
TG: prepared and everything huh  
GA: Yes  
TG: double yes?  
GA: Yes  
TG: triple  
TG: shit what about the mayor  
GA: He Has Been Accounted For  
TG: how the fuck did you measure the outfits then  
GA: Rose Has Provided Me With The Measurements Necessary For This  
TT: If you’ll all meet us in the common room, we have already set everything up.  
CG: YOU’VE ALREADY DONE EVERYTHING??  
CG: DAVE AND I WERE IN THERE ONLY 3 HOURS AGO!  
GA: I Suppose We Were A Bit Too Excited When Preparing  
CG: FUCK.  
\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased responding to memo --  
\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased responding to memo --  
\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased responding to memo --  
TG: that was fast  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased responding to memo --  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased responding to memo --  
\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased responding to memo --  
\-- terminallyCapricous [TC] responded to memo --  
\-- terminallyCapricous [TC] ceased responding to memo--

Ah. Gamzee’s smile from snickering at their antics fell as he neared the end of the memo. He was not invited, as always. A grim something stirred in his chest and he pocketed his phone, sitting up. Should he show up anyway? He’d love to be laughing and spending time with someone - even Dave, someone who he despised, would be okay. He hadn’t talked to anyone in months and certainly hadn’t seen anyone aside from his frowning reflection in the metal of the walls.

He decided that if everyone was going to the common room, he would at least be free to explore without fearing someone catching him. He crawled into the right vent, squirming through the paths until his elbows and knees started to ache. He took a rest before beginning again. Paused. An intersection was before him. One way - the right - would turn to the outside of the common room. The other one led directly into the room, a vent he’d never dared to set foot in.

He headed straight and promised himself he’d just take a peek. He arrived at the opening, still covered, and lay down with his body outstretched. His arms folded with his head in them, he made sure not to harm his horns as he watched through the cracks.

Rose and Kanaya were conversing with Terezi and Vriska.

“Please, try them on at least,” Kanaya was saying to Vriska.

“Fine, whatever. Doesn’t mean I’ll like them.” Though she tried to hide it, she seemed happy. Terezi was inhaling the scent of her clothing - the pajamas? Her shirt bore a bright, cherry red, the same color of Karkat’s mutant blood. It was polka-dotted with teal, though the arms were a rainbow of color (just as the pants were). Vriskas sported black with a white spider stitched on the front of the shirt. Her pants were a fuzzy cerulean.

Kanaya was wearing black with jade green swirls decorating her frame while Rose wore a pristine white-and-purple dotted dress.

Karkat transportalized into the room, followed by Dave and WV. Vriska had already used the card holding her pajamas and was letting Terezi inspect her. “Delicious!” She announced, all of her pointy, yellow teeth shining.

Kanaya handed Karkat his PJs. His had black with gray crabs littered here and there, not a speck of color on to be found. Typical. Dave’s shirt was a vibrant red with a black crow on the front. His pants were a flashing white. The Mayor, who had to physically put his clothes on due to his lack of a sylladex, had been handed a brown cape with transparent cans speckling the fabric. When everyone put their clothes on, Gamzee failed to pretend they weren't at least a little bit stunning.

He crawled back in the vent, letting out a quiet, remorseful honk. Sure, he was happy everyone had found a way to enjoy their time on the meteor, but he wished he could partake in the activities without being shunned. Instead of wandering aimlessly around the meteor like planned, he shuffled back through the vents and fell onto his pile of scraps.

Again, he pressed his palms into his eyes, letting out a dry sob. Something hard pressed into his side and he dug it out, staring into the blue, glassy eyes of Cal. Gamzee hugged him tight, hoping that the puppet would have answers for what to do.

_Oh, my wickedest brother Cal, what the motherfuck am I gonna all up and do now?_

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are appreciated   
>  [ tumblr ](o0jaywolf0o.tumblr.com)   
> 


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